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And the winner is…

Everyone knows recognition is sorely lacking in the workplace. Which explains all the in-house awards. Long-service awards. Awards of excellence. Awards of distinction. Employee of the year, month and week. Innovation awards. Customer service awards.

Here’s an awards program that’s sure to be hit with staff. Get you a flood of nominations. And pack the auditorium with cheering crowds.

It’s the Pain in the Ass (PITA) Awards. Critieria is pretty much self-explanatory. Odds are staff already have a half-dozen worthy candidates in mind. Multiple categories mean lots of folks have a shot at this very special award.

— PITA of the Year Award with senior management, middle management and frontline employee categories

— PITA Lifetime Achievement Award for someone who throughout their career has exemplified what it means to be a PITA

— PITA Under 30 Award to recognize those up-and-comers who somehow made it through the HR screening process and fooled the hiring committee

— PITA Team of the Year award because what’s an awards program without recognition for teams. Can be for a dynamic duo, department or project team.

Anyone can nominate. Specific examples required. Incriminating e-mails, memos and MP3 files of voicemail messages from the PITA nominee are strongly encouraged. A selection committee of admin assistants, cafeteria and cleaning staff will choose the winners using an entirely subjective criteria.

PITA winners will receive a big "I’m a PITA" button to be worn at all times at work. The rest of us will get an open bar and barbecue.

(– Special thanks to Lisa M. for the great idea).

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